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Play your cards right, and flight attendants might take your child into the cockpit for a visit after landing.Heather Greenwood Davis/The Globe and Mail

In the sky, flight attendants are the guardians of the galaxy. They determine when you eat, drink, sit or stand. They stand between you and that empty row at the back. And they are likely going to be the first to notice that the baby in 16C is about to hurl and the mom in 36B is one baby shriek away from losing it completely. So who better to ask for tips on how to make your next flight better?

Here’s what they told us.

Make great choices when you book your flight

Flight attendants suggest picking your seats together ahead of time, preregistering for in-flight kids’-club perks and choosing flights that work with your child’s sleep schedule. On her site MyMommyFlies.com, flight attendant Katrina Morrison also suggests booking early-morning flights which are less likely to be delayed, and avoiding red-eyes. A checklist will help you remember necessities (especially diapers and formula which are unlikely to be on board), special toys, snacks and entertainment options. The alternative can be painful for everyone: “Recently, I was on a flight where the mother forgot to pack a child’s special blanket. The sweet girl was so tired but couldn’t sleep without it. She cried the entire three-hour flight begging for her ‘blanky,’” says Beth Blair, who has spent 20 years working in roles that included flight attendant and inflight quality-assurance manager. “Looking out the window will only hold a child’s attention for so long.”

Be strategic at the airport

Too much sugar or caffeine preflight may leave kids with energy they can’t expend on an airplane, one flight attendant notes. “I’ve had parents let their children drink milk and a Coke [before boarding] and then wonder why they throw up.” Blair adds that a restroom break right before boarding is always a good idea. Kids who have to use the bathroom right as the plane begins to move can end up having an accident or delaying the entire flight.

And don’t feel that everyone needs to board for the early family boarding call. Have one adult board, store luggage and set up car seats while kids burn off energy at the gate.

Sympathy can’t change the rules

That “mean” flight attendant who won’t let your child sit on your lap for takeoff is following rules meant to keep you both safe, Blair notes. “As a flight attendant, the toughest part of air travel with families on board is ensuring all regulations are met while also being compassionate to the challenges of parenthood." Sometimes it means the family with the tantrumming child who won’t stay seated may have to leave the flight. Her tip: If your child is likely to struggle with the seat belt, consider buying a CARES harness, which allows children to sit securely in a regular seat. Once the plane is airborne and the seat-belt sign is off, the child can sit on the parent’s lap.

You may not know the whole story

Recognize that a flight attendant’s inability to make your wish come true may be in part because it would affect another family on board. “Everyone wants to sit next to their child, and rightly so, but it’s hard to accommodate every request because I could potentially be breaking up another family,” Morrison explains. And, she adds, what may look like favouritism may actually be compassion. “I can usually spot new moms and dads travelling with a baby or toddler on their first flight. I greet every passenger but these parents I try to make feel even more welcomed on board.” Another flight attendant notes that she sometimes sees children who appear malnourished and will discreetly offer extra food to the families as they leave the plane.

Flight attendants actually want to help you

Flight attendants told us they regularly offer tours of the airplane, visits to the cockpit after landing or baby-holding services when a parent needs a break. They are more likely to offer when parents are encouraging good behaviour.

“Kicking seat backs, slamming tray tables and armrests or using the flight-attendant button as a musical instrument not only annoys flight attendants but also surrounding passengers,” one attendant says. Also, allowing your kids to run up and down the aisles, throw garbage on the floor or throw toys at passengers or crew – or handing dirty diapers to crew – are surefire ways to dampen their helpful spirit.

Said one attendant: It’s an airplane, not your home.

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